Manual Molestation - Master Chu and the Drunkard
(I like being player #2 - Think about it)
Color Dreams are a bunch of smart dudes. The cracked the NES cart mystery, and figured out how to make titles that actually worked in Nintendo's hardware. After creating their games, though, they got a thousand monkeys to work on a thousand typewriters to create their manuals. Let me tell you, a thousand monkeys aren't very smart. As always, I'll the manual in navy blue, and I'll be talking in magenta. Exerts from in navy blue is typed exactly from the manual.
Return to a mythical time in the Far East, when the legendary Siamese-Twin Shiva, God of destruction, cursed your village with fearsome evil spirits. Despaired by repeated failures to drive out Shiva's evil demons, your best friends, Master Hu, has turned into a drunkard. You, Master Chu must search through hostile palaces and temples to find and destroy this four armed incarnation of Shiva. If you would like, just ask your teammate, the Drunkard Hu to help out. Playing together can be a lot of fun!
Let me get this straight. A freak of nature Siamese has summoned an evil army of the undead. Master Hu, who is depressed that you've failed to drive out evil demons, your best friends, turns to drinking. You have to search through hostile places dragging along a passed out alcoholic. And this is going to be fun? Uh...
Store at room temperature. Do not subject to environmental extremes.
Sorry. I'll take my game out of the freezer.
Always ensure that power is off before inserting or removing the cartridge from the Nintendo system.
I thought the NES was like an oven! Preheat for 15 minutes before inserting the cart.
Do not try to open or disassemble the cartridge.
Why, does taking the cart apart make it work less efficiently?
Do not sit too close to your television.
Shut up, mom!
Flaming Key of Freedom - Unlocks the secret passage to the next world.
Flaming Key of Freedom - Key required to get out of the special "Bubba the horny inmate" stage.
Killer Silk Worm - A whole procession of these killers can drain your power quickly. Shoot them before they rum their poisonous glands on you.
Killer Silk Worms? Ha ha ha! Yeah right. Let me step on you, before you try to spray me with your evil, yet soft and useful in the textile industry, droppings!
Great Ball of Fire
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