The N.E.S. Discussion

(Nonsense Etcetera Society)

OSG: Well, hello once again. It looks like we have some more topics to ramble on about today. At least, that's what it looks like. I donno, it's likely all irrelevant. Anyway, Let's meet our guests today before we do anything else. Our casting director has been fired, and replaced with Pedro. Let's see if he can do a better job than the old casting director did. Anyway, today our guests are the Auctioneer from Monopoly, Scheherazade's secret (and very old) lover from The Magic of Scheherazade, who we will just call "Carl", and.. uh... whatever the hell that thing is. A cat in a spaceship. Okay.

Auctioneer: Erwin bids 306, do I hear 318?

Carl: Scheherazade, my love, I will send that puny kid out to save your ass. He will then bring you home and we will make love until Arabia is at peace once more!

Alien Cat: Zzzt! Pow pow! Wee! My spaceship is oodles and oodles of fun!

OSG: Stupid Pedro. Anyway, let's move on to our first topic. This clip comes to us from Win, Lose or Draw. Let's just take a look.

OSG: Ha ha ha. "Hairy"!
Auctioneer: The Old School Gamer bids Hairy. Do I hear shaven? Do I hear shaven?
Carl: Hairy... that reminds me so much of my sweet love, Scheherazade. I hope that twirp with the blue pants ant the turban brings her back so I can make sweet love to her behind his back under the Arabian moon.
Alien Cat: Hey! I thought you said that this would be super fun, OSG! This is super lame.

OSG: What are you talking abut? I mean... they guess the puzzle right, and exclaim "Hairy". It's not lame. It's funny. You people just aren't cooperating.
Auctioneer: You're right, Alien Cat. This is lame. I say we take over this show.
Carl: I happen to have this silk rope, for... just such an emergency. Yeah.
Alien Cat: Rope? Weee! This will be super fun after all!

OSG: What are you guys doing? Hey! Get away from me...!

OSG: Mff!

Auctioneer: Good job, boys. I think we can handle the show ourselves.
Carl: Yes! I say we show some clips of my sweet, sweet Scheherazade.
Alien Cat: No! Let's watch Mr. Bean! He's super-silly!

????: You idiots need a leader. I suggest you let me host the show.
Auctioneer: We don't help. I just want to watch some TV shopper network on the big screen.
Carl: Perhaps tying up the host wasn't such a good idea.
Alien Cat: Who is it? Are you a monster?

Gwa ha ha! I bet you did not expect me to come back! Bet whenever Jerry is in trouble, I must arrive.
Auctioneer: Are you going to save The Old-School Gamer?

????: No! Gwa ha ha! I am going to take over his show! Let's look at our next topic. This comes to us from MTV's Remote control.

????: Gwa ha ha! Let's watch some beaver TV!
Auctioneer: Sold!
Carl: My Scheherazade, I apologize for being forced to watch such smut.
Alien Cat: I don't get it.

????: Gwa ha ha! So what do you guys think? Is this a Porno Movie, or merely a topic in a Game show?
Auctioneer: I certainly hope it's a porno.
Carl: I couldn't say. I have my eyes closed, out of respect for my love!
Alien Cat: Oh, wait! I get it! "Hairy!" Ah ha ha!! This is super-duper fun!

????: Well, that's it, Jerry! Now go home.

OSG: Mmmf, rmm mrgle, smf! (see you next time).

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