Why Salesmen Don't Know Jack


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Why is it that when you go into a store to find NES stuff, the salesmen don't know jack? I mean, they don't seem to know anything about those games. It didn't make any sense to me. 90% of the video store owners are older than me. Thus, they should know something about what they're selling you.

Here's an example: I got the NES satelite and a copy of Megaman II for 5 bucks. The clerk said that he was selling all of his NES stuff for 2.50$ each (He had shit selection, mind you). From another store, I picked up Kid Icarus for the same price as Ghoul School. Kid Icarus should have been worth at least double. I just couldn't figgure out what was wrong with these people. Then I had a revelation.

Mind control.

Think about it. So many people who love the NES say that they faithfuly played the N64. One day (usually  in 1998) they played an old NES cart, and remembered how much fun it was. I never forgot, mind you, because I never really got into the N64. Whenever I get a game that's really, really good, the clerks say, "Oh yeah! I remember that game. Isn't that the one with the buildings and things that you break?" Hm. They don't even really remember the game... but the thought stirrs in the back of their minds.

So maybe, just maybe, video game companies installed a chip in the new machines which would erase the player's memory of old games, to make up for the lack of quality in the new games.

Now, don't look at me like I'm crazy! I'm not calling this a conspiracy. It's only an evil ploy to be able to produce crap-for-games and sell them to consumers who just want to get the newest eye candy. Systematically, Nintendo has been making us "fail to recall" the older, cooler NES stuff. They knew that if we ever found out about them, they'd loose all their sales.

As for those "new" games on Game Boy that are remakes of NES games... they've got the chip, too. Nintendo wants those of us who are still in the retro-gaming business to back off. They know that we can get to others. They don't want anyone to know what we know. So, they release a game for the Game Boy under the guise of Super Mario Bros. or Shadowgate. They expect us (the NES fans) to go out and buy these games. We will then be brainwashed by these chips, forgetting the way of the NES. We will become drones to the newer systems.

And that's why salesmen don't know jack.

This is the Old-School Gamer, signing off.

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