The adventures of (insert name here)

Where being insane isn't a privilege-- it's a right.

OSG: Hello, fans. I am your friendly neighbourhood Old-School Gamer. Here I am at everyone's favorite haunt, the Generic Dudes turf. I don't quite know why people come here. They just do. I do hope that I will meet some of the really great NES people here, and nothing zany and unpredictable will happen. When zany things happen, I always have to work harder for some reason. Oh well. Hey, it looks like someone's coming this way...

OSG: Why, if it isn't Spreck and Sappy. Hello guys.
Spreck: Hey, OSG
Sappy: It's my bitch, OSG
OSG: Uh... right. What are you guys doing here?
Spreck: Ah, I was just in the area. Wanted to see what was happening. How've you been OSG?
OSG: Not bad, Spreck, I...
Sappy: I hear your anus stinks.
OSG: What?
Sappy: I want to sex0r you with a broomstick.
OSG: Er... right...
Sappy: Heh. I'm kidding.
OSG: I knew that-- I knew that!
Spreck: Don't mind him, we just came from Mao's.
OSG: Hey, someone else is coming this way. It's Rakim and... uh...

Rakim: mahahahah
OSG: Hey-ho, Rakim. And... uh...
Fred: I'm Fred.
OSG: Who the hell is Fred?
Sappy: Fred rocks j00 world.
Rakim: he runs nescrophilia with me, swine.
OSG: I see... "Fred"

OSG: Grrrr...

Fred: Grrr...

OSG: Grrrr...

Fred: Grrr...

OSG: Okay, then. Hello, Fred.
Spreck: Well that was settled quickly.
Sappy: No fight?
OSG: I'm not a violent man.
Fred: I wanted a fight. I'm out of here.
Rakim: freddy D:
OSG: Now that that unpleasantness is behind us...
Rakim: is that your feeble attempt to diss fred?
OSG: Uhhh...
Rakim: fred is my dad.
OSG: This is getting too weird. I'm leaving.

Rakim: freddy D:
Sappy: My bitch is gone.
Spreck: They left so quickly.
Rakim: hey what the fuck is that big green thing?

Rakim: oh my god! it's bubblun! he ate sappy!
Spreck: What a waste...
Rakim: hey, it is a bit quieter now.
Bubblun: Hey guys!
Spreck: He's so cute... but I'm getting out of here before he eats me too.
Rakim: wussy.

USAgent: I am here.
Rakim: usagent, bubblun just ate sappy.
USAgent: He did? But he's so cute.
Rakim: yeah, but what shall we do?
USAgent: I shall use my extreme posing abilities to thwart off this evil foe!
Bubblun: Nice pose!
USAgent: It isn't working.
Bubblun: What are you doing USAgent?
Rakim: shut up you stupid dumb idiot.
USAgent: If only we had some help...

Nakoo: ...
Rakim: it's emperor nakoo.
USAgent: Bubblun just ate Sappy.
Bubblun: Taito.
Nakoo: ... right.
USAgent: Uh... Nakoo?
Nakoo: He's too cute to eat someone.
Bubblun: Wait. I think I know what you guys are saying now. I didn't--
Rakim: D:
Nakoo: ...
Bubblun: I'm leaving. Nakoo is scary.
Rakim: i'll be right back.

USAgent: Wow, he didn't really eat Sappy.
Nakoo: He was just sitting on Sappy.
Sappy: I sex0red his anus.
Nakoo: I'm glad to see you are okay, Sappy.
Sappy: l33t.

OSG: I hope you liked my story. If not, TS!